Wednesday, May 14, 2014

how I know I am ready for marriage

Marriage I guess everyone at the "right" age has to deal with it.
Right age I mean 22 years onwards but ya after 34 years you will be of "expiry date".
Still questions will haunt you.
When your parents are ready to understand your decision, this society is not.
Everyone has her or his idea, yet it is still questionable whether it is required or not.
Marriage means compromise ask yourself this question " am I ready for marriage" no one will answer you how you can be ready for marriage .. How to know when you are ready for marriage
Just ask this question
Are you tired of being alone
Are you ready to share your life with someone
Or instead ask
Am I ready to share and give my life to someone else
Do I want someone to love and fight with
If answers are there in your mind you know what to do.
Marriage or any relationship requires lot of time, patience and sacrifices.
If your ego and every one knows if they have ego or not..so if its big then don't think about marriage.
So to  say I do or I don't up to you.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

                                                  WHEN NOTHING IS IN ME





When time is not with me, and the world is far away...........

I want you to be with me,,,
,so that i cherish ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,love forever....

When i give up my dreams and there is no more strength in me......
I want you to come near me...
give my body your warmth for few seconds so that i cherish hope forever....

i want you to be my eyes so they still can dream.....

When there is darkness in my heart and my heart forgets to beat...
I want you to come near me...
Give my heart your touch..........so that i cherish light forever.....



When its my last day , and i will breathe no more, 
i want you to come near me,
give my lips the last kiss so that i cherish ,,,,,,,,,,death forever........


When nothing is in me.......
Come close to me...........
so that i give you my soul that always lived for you.










Saturday, April 13, 2013

Relationships are strange, lovable, beautiful and add as many words you want.
But to manage one you require lot of hard work.
Tina and Nona that's what she use to call her love of life.....lots of cuddling, trust, concern for each other was    
increasing day by day.
Nona was a mature and caring boy, he cared for Tina as she was very caring towards him.
Tina loved him as he was the first love and for her the only love her life.
Nona's first meeting with Tina was at college fest of her. He came there with one of his college-mate.
The first eye connection was like that of movies and spending four hours together was just like a beginning of a long journey.
They talked and talked and there were more talks, they shared thoughts of life, Nona liked Tina being an open and broad minded, she was very opposite in nature of his, may be that's why they more attracted to each other. As Science says, opposites attract each other."
Once they were sitting and chatting and Nona wanted to get a step further in relationship, that was more like a physical one, being a 21st century it was not a problem and Tina was more into him as she thought it was a pure love so there is nothing wrong in it.
So everything is beautiful, Tina had the other side as well, every girl has one, the one which require lot of attention, support , more of emotional one.......she shared every thought, each problem she was facing at home, her aspirations and wishes with him.
Tina was from a upper middle class family, strange but true how classes were and define in society but surely it has some importance for others but not for her.
She may be not a rich to buy Gucci or Prada but surely she was Levis and madame fan.
Attire being simple (occasionally she dress up), at home she was not at peace, Modernity pays sometimes and sometimes makes u suffer.
Being the only child was a terrible loss or boon was still not clear to her.
Mother was only interested in herself and father a well established drunkard.
What haunts her most, was the childhood terrible memories which refrain her to tell her fears to anyone.
Even when she reached age of puberty after that those days what she remembers is her mother yelling and taunting instead of caring.
"Don't eat hot things you are carrying it for four days then you will carry it for seven"
Few bad things or words said cannot heal the wounds of heart even after  thousands of good deeds you do.
Still lord has some blessings on her, everyone that knows Tina, says she is one of kind girl, full of life.
In school she had a very good friend , eight years of friendship which was full of loyalty and support. Tina supported her friend when he was depressed and gone through major heartbreaks of his life. At the end of the day he was interested in her as he thought no one else will be open to him as she was.The friendship was broke , reason being over possessiveness and wrong intentions.
She was hurt but still happy as she knew she lost something for good, she was free not bounded any more.
This was just one incident, so many friends ditched, took advantage and broke her trust.
Tina was always true to heart, she once read somewhere that no matter what if you change yourself for who you are then you cheat yourself.
So she decided no matter what will happen, she will remain happy and honest to herself, she will be true by heart to everyone its up to others that whether they gain a true friend or loose one, and till now 25 years she has not got one real friend, however she was best friend of more than five people.
So when she met Nona she thought may be she got someone real in her life, someone she can trust, she can share her fears, she was one hundred percent and dedicated to the relationship, the most important relationship of her life.
Nona, on the other hand was from Middle class family, his dream was to become Doctor, he studied hard, took education loan for completing his studies, his family was simple but orthodox and so was he, however this was never clear what his actual thoughts and ideas are,his siblings were very dear to him.
Nona and Tina's love story started when they were into each other, initial stage was good, later importance and priorities of Nona were clear in front of Tina, it was not her, but she understood as she knew , how hard is to establish oneself in this world. She loved Nona so his problems and his fears she understood.
Tina joined MNC while pursuing her college as she was frustrated spending night at her home, which was full of abusive environment. She did night shifts and for Nona it was all about get sexual pleasures and her body, one day while Tina was in office shattered and disturbed she called Nona instead of talking what he asked was his intentions to love the babies of her bodies, that day she disconnected the call, ending that relationship.........so this was the end, she thought moving ahead in life, completed graduation joined another company and she met new people, become friends but what people want is not friend they want someone to walk by them according to their needs and requirements.
The truth of lesson till now - DO NOT TRUST ANYONE, NO ONE IS FRIEND OR ENEMY, YOU ARE THE BEST FRIEND OF YOURSELF.
In the training sessions she befriended with another girl, cute bit eccentric but pretending to be mature which she was not.
There journey was for twenty four months, till the time she was one of the back stabber or may be she was not, that was the circumstances which forces situations to become crumble some.




























Friday, April 12, 2013

We Screw things, everyone of us.....including me ... I promise myself few things and don't do those things....
writing blog was one of it, planning for career was another and the prominent one.
"I am accountable to myself no one else is, so why I don't work hard for it."
I guess everyone thinks like that.
So here trying to revive things for myself.
I do things which I love and plan to follow ........ 
For my studies I planned LLB i took admission of course cleared the exam for it...took the admission studied for a year then whoosh something happened dropped it... I took admission in master's for English , now I don't want to study English literature ...don't feel to do it.....
I want to be a postgraduate but subject... was not decided, so after going through few books and notes now i decide to do Public Administration.

Self realization is the most important thing, I read the books of most successful people they don't do different things its just they do things differently.
I have to do something good with my life. I have so many thoughts so planning and executing them at the right time is important.
 I am old enough to realize that its never too late and I am starting it today , this April 12th is my day of pledge.
And this blog will be the witness of what i decide and will be a holder of my thoughts, my stories, my fictions and my love for writing.

So will promise to follow my plans from today itself, no laziness any more.





Tuesday, April 6, 2010

realities

i was happy until i saw the hidden realities
i was happy until i saw the threatening realities
yes i was happy.................
hunger,poverty, illiteracy, terror all over in eyes....
corrupted feelings,,dying emotions, dead silence...
was trying to kill me sometimes
still that innocent smile of new born child....
is one of the reality which at least i will cherish throughout my life..
little more truths cannot break my trust ...
i challenge the sadden parts of life....
no matter whatever happens in downstream..
life is to live..n i m all here to live and let others live happily...